What’s my issue, you ask? The issue of my decision to remain childless.

So, why would I decide that at the ripe age of thirty, that my immediate future would cease to be populated with children? If you think about it, this is the age where I should be considering the basis of that choice. Shouldn’t I be casting off the bowlines, and be taken with a firm hunger to populate the world with my genes? Isn’t thirty where the biological clock starts ticking, and the only vaginal recourse is to procreate to ensure the population flourishes?

In a word, no.

Some of you may or may not know this, but I currently have a six year old daughter that I have never met. I pay my child support, I ensure that she has the things in life that she needs, but given the basis of my current circumstances, her life is not enriched by my presence. She has a competent father figure in her life, as well as a mother who cherishes her and caters to her every need. Some of you may equate that to me being a simple sperm donor, and I don’t think that I would argue with you in that respect. However, due to the five-hundred dollars that skates out of my paycheck every month, I’d be hard-pressed to say that I still provide. Granted, an ATM does not a father make, and though it makes me sad that I am not a part of my daughter’s life, I am actually relieved that she does not know me. She wouldn’t like the person I am, and the responsibility of her care should never fall to the shoulders of a person such as me.

Simply put, I’m a selfish individual who after many years of struggle with personal philosophy, has decided that he does not like the company of human beings under the age of eighteen. At certain points, that age limit extends to about twenty-five, and try as I may, the older I get, the harder it is to connect with anyone significantly younger than myself.

I don’t like kids. They serve no purpose in my viewpoint. They hinder you utterly useless as anything aside from a nurture and societal machine who’s main job becomes working for money to support your children. In effect, children are about the same level of fiduciary responsibility as say, a gnawing cocaine habit.

And as with cocaine, they rob you of quite a bit of personal freedom.

I’m predicated on being able to move about freely. That means if I’d like to take a trip to South Africa, I shouldn’t have to consider anyone that depends on me for support to be able to disappear. I enjoy traveling. I enjoy drinking with the people around me. I enjoy not having to worry about how I am going to purchase school supplies and food for a time suck which will eventually grow to resent me. Make no mistake, all children resent their parents up until adulthood, and in some cases even after.

So what’s my reasoning? I mean, how is it that I can feel so strongly about a topic that I have no experience in? And overall, what is it that makes me so prolifically high and mighty that I can express my opinions presumptuously? And even better, how can I line things out so that people understand without being severely offended?

The truth is, people are going to be offended, no matter how I explain this. People are notoriously staunch in their opinions and when it comes to procreation, the political and social implications of being childless are – for lack of a better term – fucked up.

In essence – and despite what your first animal instinct tells you – people love to possess things, love to feel special and individual, and love to think up ways as to how they can feign importance over other people. Children are the perfect answer to this dilemma. By simply doing what nature and instinct has dictated, they can accomplish all three of those needs in one fell swoop.

Don’t believe me? Then why are children referred to as possessions? (i.e. “My kids, our kids”) Or even better, why are those people with children treated differently in workplace situations? (i.e. “I can’t come in to work today, my kids are sick,” or “I can’t work late tonight, my kid has a dance recital.”) Even more so, parent’s tout their children’s accomplishments as if they had some role in those accomplishments. (i.e. “My kid got straight A’s. My kid’s a Rhodes Scholar. My kid is going to be a doctor.”)

“We love our kids, they are our world! You’ll never understand until you have your own children.”

I love phrases like that. I love them. It completely cements the decision I’ve made to stay childless. If I want exclusivity when it comes to responsibility, I’ll get an AMEX. As objective as I am in most situations, these phrases bring to mind the “I’m better than you,” mentality that exists with so many parents. Anyone can fuck. Retards can fuck. It doesn’t take some miracle process to produce eighteen years of frustration. In fact, MTV networks has devoted an entire reality TV show to fledgling parents who are not only completely clueless but also teenage.

I don’t believe that parents should receive special treatment just because they are capable of procreation, the same way that I don’t think someone should be denied a job simply because they are black, or hispanic.

Some questions:

1. “You’re so insensitive. You’re a bad person because having kids is the natural order of things. You should want kids, and love them. Why don’t you?”

Because I think that they hinder you from achieving your potential in life. They also require you to make sacrifices in order to cope with them. Show me a father who has had children he wasn’t sure about, and I’ll show you a man with dead eyes. There’s also the issue of population control. There’s already too many people in this world, as well as too many children who are unloved, or not allowed a chance at life, why would I want to add to that? If I don’t want or am not capable of loving a child of my own, then why would I want to bring them into what I view as a fucked up world? It’s silly.

2. “Don’t you want to spread your genes?!”

Not particularly. I’m not concerned with legacy. I don’t care if my surname dies with me, or if my great grandchild ever becomes president. I just don’t care. I don’t think that my genes are important enough to spread. I’m an average human being, and a rebellious free-thinker. Those are the kind of geneological qualities that get you beaten up on the playground.

3. “But a kid could learn so much from you.”

You’re right. But why would I want to share my knowledge and life experience with someone anyway? I’m not callous, but devoting my entire life to rearing and teaching a child seems rather fruitless for me.

4. “You’re just afraid to grow up. Why don’t you accept responsibility and have kids, you irresponsible jerk?”

The worst approach I’ve ever had to my decision to remain childless was a response like this. It was hilarity. As if having a baby seat in a minivan was the ultimate pinnacle of social development. Personally, I’d prefer to drag a typewriter across the desert, or spend my time backpacking across New Zealand than to have to carry a papoose everywhere I go for three to five odd years. I’d rather deal with sweltering heat and wild jungle cats than having to endure dirty diapers and fucking snack time.

In the end, I just don’t see children as a viable choice for MY life. It’s all well and good if you want them in YOUR life, but for me, I’ll stick with the freedom of choice.

Cheers.

Getting your responsibilities handled is hard. I should know. My daily life is constantly bombarded by mortars of things to do. Tasks exist like imperative explosions. For the normal everyman life becomes a wiggly dance on the battlefield of avoidance. For me, being the sole breadwinner and the main productivity advocate in the household, my job is double that of most people. Understand, I’m not complaining.

But for someone who is already busy, the thought of trying to shove more into my day is about as appealing as having my toenails surgically removed. Do I have a calendar? Yes. I do. Do I use it? Only if I have to.

I’ve tried. I’ve put as much stuff as I can on a “To-Do” list and had every intention of doing all of the items on my list. I’m responsible. I hold a middle management job where I not only have to get things done, I am REQUIRED to do so. The idea of accountability doesn’t escape me. 

In all my lists, I’ve had around five or six things. I’ve had what I viewed as activities that I had to complete to consider myself on the ball. The problem with my lists is that of those four or five things, hardly anything gets done.

I’ve always wondered why. I’ve always looked at people who seem to be able to get a huge amount of things done in a very little period of time and said to myself “Why can’t I be like that? Why am I the sucker who seems to not get it?”

I’m a terribly organized person. I prefer things neat and tidy. If that’s the case, then why is my house always a mess? Why is something always waiting around the proverbial bend to derail me from doing the normal life activities.

And how come as a creative, I feel sub-par when it comes to my peers? How come I see them dousing out creative energy like wayward fire hoses, writing and painting and doing the things they love, and I’m struggling to make time to take out the garbage?

Apparently David Allen has the answer. 

Who is David Allen? He’s an author, consultant and overall productivity nut who by the time he was 35 had held an equal number of jobs. After being awarded a consulting position at Lockheed — Yes, that Lockheed – Allen, began to develop a productivity structure that has turned him from job-hopper into bestselling author.

His book “Getting Things Done,” or as it is affectionately known to people drinking the David Allen Kool-Aid, GTD, has within it’s covers a structured system for getting tasks and events completed.

I can almost hear the collective sigh. It’s as if opening the cover of this book is going to suddenly give you more hours in the day. As if by some publishing miracle tomorrow the normal 24-hour clock need not apply.

David states this methodology of “Time Management” is a rather outdated concept.  So are the ideas of To-Do lists, planners, and personal assistants. Though if you’re wealthy enough for the latter perhaps you’re doing ok.

His book does however, cover principles that once applied will turn the average schlep into a personal productivity dynamo.

So how does he do it?

With a specific implementation of tasks, next action lists, projects, and the all-important weekly review. No gear to buy, (unless you want to)or fancy gadgets to invest in. These tasks can be completed and applied with just a simple pen and sheet of paper. Though if you’re really interested you should buy the book.

His ideas state that when your brain is thinking about things you haven’t done anything about (open loops) that it doesn’t function as well as when your thoughts are clearly defined.

He also advocates writing things down. Not in a to-do list format, but in small chunks that can be easily accomplished at set workstations in your home or office. Take for instance the telephone calls you have to make. By writing all of them down and keeping the list with you, the next time you’re at a telephone you can knock out several at a clip.

The best part of the GTD system is that there is no learning curve.

I’ve chosen to outfit one of my favorite low-tech tools the Moleskine to keep my GTD lists and whatnot together in one place. I simply added a few tabs, indexed it, attached the apple stickers from my iPod, and hooked a Pilot G2 onto the front cover. That’s about as low-tech as you can get.

And here’s what the sample next action list looks like :

Small, simply effective. Extremely powerful. I’ve gotten more done in the past week that I’ve probably gotten done all month. The program has allowed me to clear my mind and focus on things that I can control.

As a result my productivity has taken off, and my stress level is measurably less than it has been in the past. I’ve also found that my focus and my attitude are better. If all it takes for that level of focus is a little black notebook, then I’m in.

The basic idea that consumers seem to keep on the forefront of their minds (and wallets) these days is one of established consumerism. We’re a nation chock-full of advertising concepts, and marketing strategies with one goal in mind: buy.

If you’ve been a part of the business world, focus seems to always hover over the concept of bigger, faster and more. In the case of most corporations, selling a product and making a buck is the life blood of commerce. Simply put, we’re a nation of people trying to invoke the American dream.

That’s a wonderful concept until you look at some of the things that dream causes us to desire. With major players such as Apple, Coke, McDonalds, Wal-Mart, etc., thrown in the mix, our mouths and our wallets salivate with the possibilities of new, shiny, materialistic “stuff.”

Just look at things like the iPad, and you’ll know why. A device who’s main function is to consume media such as movies, web pages, and games, as opposed to creating them is a device that is rooted in the vestibules of consumerist society.

Of any of the offenders, I find myself most guilty. I lust after new technology. I crave and desire the ability to have the next big thing, purchase first generation items, and jump on the capitalist bandwagon. Usually to the disdain and disappointment of my spouse.

So what happens when you have it all? Are our large appetites whetted for merely an instant, are we able to handle the belly ache of sugary-sweet capitalism at it’s most lucrative and gluttonous?

I remember a dear friend preaching the evils of acquiring possessions a few months before he took a sabbatical to a foreign country for a few months. His apartment was stuffed to the gills with artwork, video game systems, computers, clothes, linens, glassware, trinkets, and everything in between.  So much so that he had to spend an inordinate amount of time to sort and prioritize how he was going to spend the time with each of these vast amounts of possessions.

A typical day would be spend deciding whether the motorcycle ride he wanted to take was more important that the new video game he had just purchased, or the new computer monitor that he’s bought in order to watch a monstrous collection of sometimes unopened DVDs. 

One day, he lost it. He just snapped, and decided that he should stop trying so hard to acquire new things, and as a result sold almost everything he owned, including his motorcycle and his pickup truck.

He’s much happier now.

“The strange thing,” he told me once, “Is that I have more time to spend with the people I care about. I get bored not having all of that stuff sometimes, sure, but to see people going insane over the latest big screen television, or Blu-ray DVD player just doesn’t compute anymore. It’s like you see where you used to be, and you know that you’ve changed it, so why do you even worry about it anymore? My brother-in-law just bought one of those beastly televisions. You know, the one that is like seventy inches wide, and forty feet tall? Something like that, I don’t know. But he called me over to his house to show me how cool this thing was, and all the features and the gigantic picture it had, and whatnot. It was nice, sure, but it also cost him $70.00 a month for the next three years.”

Personally, I’m starting to see the reason that people are embracing minimalism as an alternative to high-dollar spending on useless entertainment, or impulse buys.

I’ve been reading Zen Habits lately, and one of the things that they suggest is how to cut back your home expenses, scale down your possessions, and live a life that doesn’t champion excess as a value system.

So what’s the point? Well, in order for us to fully cherish the things we have, we must be willing to let go of the things we don’t need. This means that we must be willing to toss out the ideas of amassing stuff as a means to an end. Old clothes, useless technology, unused albums, musical instruments, the list is endless as to how simplification can happen.

And perhaps that simplicity is the true exercise. Getting rid of the bulk in order to focus on the best. When you think about it, it just makes sense. A focus on quality over quantity.

When you eat out at a four-star restaurant, the portions are small and yet full of intense flavor and quality. It’s the reason you pay a premium price for the privilege to dine. But what would happen if at the same restaurant, the premium price provided you with not quality, but a huge portions. Would the food suffer? And even after you had eaten your fill, what would you do with the remainder? Wouldn’t it be a waste?

In the end, minimalism may not work for everyone, but it may be an idea to consider.

Ok, so this post isn’t really about doing things wrong as much as it is about my feelings concerning a particular subject. The subject of overzealous extroversion in most of the social interactions that occur on a regular basis.

If you know me, then you know that sometimes I am painfully introverted. I prefer to communicate in written form. I prefer to organize my thoughts and then serve them onto a sheet of paper or into my blog as opposed to sitting down and talking to someone. I despise the telephone save for the interaction that is required to make plans with members of my social circle. I can’t take overly extroverted people who tend to want to shoot the breeze with reckless abandon. I’d much rather sit and read a book than talk about the weather or the current state of the local sports team.

So, I’m basically done apologizing for my behavior when it comes to social situations. I mean, am I really the one who should be forced to go against my nature in order to make social interactions that much more painful? Am I the type of person who has to be overly extroverted ala the high school jock?

I’ve always been taught that the quietest person in the room is the one with the most power, on the simple pretense that they are the most mysterious person. They are the one without equal simply because no one knows what cards they are holding. With the severely extroverted, people can always tell what you’re thinking, or what you hold near and dear.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Matt, I’ve seen you interact, and you seem like a social butterfly to me.”

Well, here’s a little known secret that you may not have discovered by now. I am an excellent actor. If you’ve had interactions with me that involve me being over the top crazy, then you’ve discovered a learned behavior that was put into play years before I learned that I was more comfortable being alone than with a large group. It’s a carefully practiced technique that results in being perceived as outwardly friendly without appearing fake or inauthentic. I am most able to express myself, both verbally and emotionally if I am allowed to write what I feel as opposed to saying it out loud.

Perhaps a caveat that I was unaware of when I was younger, but a good addition to my repertoire nonetheless.

I’ve been reading “The Fountainhead” lately. Well, not so much as reading as listening as the format I have available for the book is nested tightly on my iPod and my netbook for consumption when I am doing other things. While I’m only six chapters in, and I am yet to experience the hipster revelations that seem to follow this book, and The Perks Of Being A Wallflower like a modest plague.

I believe that both books speak to my inner introvert.

Maybe one day I’ll understand why I am so despondent toward the boisterous attitude of most of the general populous. 

Or maybe I won’t. 

Like it or not, distraction is something that we all have to deal with at some point and time. Specifically, the type of distraction that damages the mind of a creative, and sends it off on a tangent of shiny bullshit research.

My mind functions in certain instances like the mind of a raccoon. It’s perfectly geared toward a specific project or deadline, and for some reason things just tend to catch me off guard. I’ll see a video clip that I like that will inspire several clicks toward a dead-end series of useless videos that are only entertaining for the time being.

I have started to try and hack my work habits so that I can actually get things done. Today, I trekked down to Starbucks, knowing full well that I may not be able to access the internet for the entire time I was there. The result was a focused productivity shift that has now put me two weeks ahead of schedule, when this morning I was about a half-day behind.

I’m going to have to start establishing a set time where I can work, uninterrupted and without internet access on the projects I have taken on. As it stands now, I still have to write a benefits summary for a corporate client as well as three sales letters. I may narrow that down though, I may change it up so that I only have to write two sales letters.

Oh, and a few more things. I’ve actually been able to start speaking Mandarin Chinese thanks to The Michel Thomas Method : Mandarin Chinese Foundation Course. It’s a 10 or 12 disc audio program that is designed to teach you the language in a manner completely different than the usual “Remember this, remember that” fashion. Learning conversational Mandarin has actually been a fun experience (I always have fun learning, and languages are something that I’ve had a passion for, for many years now) and I’ve soaked up more knowledge than I figured I would have soaked up had I taken a different style course.

I want to learn so much more. I’d love to be able to converse in French, and improve my Spanish vocabulary as well; with being able to speak three or four languages being the ultimate goal.

Also, I set my business goals for the month of May, for Hawthorne, and while they are a tad bit aggressive, I still think they are achievable. They are as follows:

1. Write Three Query Letters – Planning on writing to three high-profile magazines just to get the pain of rejection out of the way. I want to experience it first hand that way I know how it feels, and how to cope with it when it happens for real. Of course, if one of the letters actually works then I may be in for a decent surprise, but I’m setting my standards very low.

2. Get to $500.00 per week in income for the month. That means that I need to make $2,000 through Hawthorne this month, regardless of the circumstances. Will more make me happy? Absolutely. Will less be ok, sure, as long as I can learn from my mistakes and make the proper choices in the future, that way I can get closer to my goal of quitting my day job and being able to write full time.

3. My third goal for the month is to finish my IMAC package ahead of time. I have until 5/14 to finish the three sales letters and the benefits summary, which may seem like a short time, but if I can get it done in one week as opposed to two weeks than my client will probably be very happy and the promise of more work is almost a given.

I’m getting busier, but considering the things that I am doing, I don’t think that there is a down side to my activities. I’m happy to work on my projects, knowing that my money will be coming in as a payment for my creativity and my actual work as opposed to trading the hours that I am awake for a small portion of what I could be making as a self-employed individual.

“Are you mad at me?” She asks.

“No.”

“You just seem sad.”

“I am sad. Well, not sad. Tired.”

“Are you sure I didn’t do something to make you mad at me? I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.”

“No, baby. I’m not mad at you at all. I love you. I’m just spread kind of thin.”

I’ve been tired lately. More tired than usual. People keep asking me what’s wrong. The truth is, nothing is really wrong, aside from the fact that It’s difficult for me to keep so many balls in the air. I’ve got quite a few responsibilities at the current time, and the added stress of having a wife in the hospital, and building a business has really started to take it’s toll.

I am reaping the benefits of my efforts though. I’ve been able to save quite a bit of money over the past few months, which will help me keep a focus on what the next four or five years of my life will look like. Realistically speaking, being a freelance writer is something that I’m really enjoying, and as a career path, I think it fits my values, my schedule and my self-disciplinary ethics.

I’ve also been reading “Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey, and it’s a very interesting read. It’s focused on improving your efficacy as opposed to trying to wrap your arms around the unimportant tasks that waste time. I’m still discovering the processes that are being taught, and trying to separate the wheat from the chaff, but I’m sure that there are several principles that I am going to be able to use to improve my life.

My favorite part so far, has been the ideas of paradigm shifting in order to change your attitude and your perspective. It’s already affecting my relationships and my communication with the people around me. Hopefully a positive change is a welcome change. I also enjoy the idea of forming a Mission Statement for my personal endeavors and for the direction of mine and Lauren’s relationship as well as our future family plans.

I need a vacation. Forgive me for complaining, but the idea of being this stressed and not being able to do the things that I need to do because of my time constraints really screws with me. Every time I find something that I can get done, two things pop up that also need my immediate attention – be it the household responsibilities or forming marketing literature for my business. Either way, It’s going to be a long hard run. Hopefully over the next year, I can build my freelance business to the point of being able to quit my job at Expert and freelance / blog full time. We shall see.

And now, it’s time for a bit of much need relaxation.

Cheers.

There’s scrub-clad nurses in pastel colors. Tonight, a pretty one of about 25 administers my wife’s medication, and I’m standing there watching her scan a plastic wristband; “like produce,” I think to myself. Just like a head of lettuce, or a bag of carrots. There should be a check stand nearby, the grey belt running taught over a set of white plastic rollers.

That’s what we’re becoming. Produce. Commodities. A generation of mashed potato brained masses staring into boxes. Our minds warped by advertising. Our bellies distended by fast food trend markets. The vegetable generation. When the world ends and they dig up the bones of our equivalent Grimaldi man, he’ll be holding a remote control and and iPod. He’ll be surrounded by soda cans and electronic devices that somehow factored in to his daily life. At some point there had to be some form of necessity. There had to be a reason that he thought he needed these things. Maybe that point was the moment in time that ended it all.

  But that makes no difference this morning. This morning we’re fighting the late night doldrums, we’re trying to keep our eyes open and avoid the sounds of the maintenance man’s floor wax buffer, the incessant chatter of the percolating industrial coffee pot. All around me is sound. My headphones can’t seem to cover it up or drown it out.

We used to have a quiet life. A life without car-horn nightmares and horse hooved business shoes. We used to sleep and dream. It’s later now, the young nurse has long since left the room and my eyelids are heavy. And I look over at my bride, and she’s lying, mouth agape, eyes shut, and fast asleep. She’s not moving, or thinking or hurting, just sleeping. As if she can hear me she scratches her nose, coughs the cutest cough I have ever heard, raises her head and tells me she loves me.

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We’ve made this walk a hundred times. Why should this time be any different?

The highest calorie smoothie you’ve ever eaten :

  1/2 Cup Strawberry Ice Cream

  1/2 Cup Vanilla Ice Cream

  6 Fresh Strawberries (washed with the tops removed)

  8 oz Pineapple Juice

1 Whole Banana (peeled / sectioned)

4 Tbps Coconut Flavored Syrup

Handful of Ice

1 scoop vanilla protein powder

Instructions :

Toss all ingredients in blender starting with ice cream and ice. Measurements don’t have to be exact, have a little fun with it. After adding all ingredients, blend on high speed until smooth. Serve immediately to your spouse for breakfast or brunch, and don’t worry about how many calories she’s consuming. You’re on a diet, she isn’t.

–7:17am

I awoke this morning to a sun filled French Door, that masked he deceptive cold of the spring/winter cusp. My wife, sleeping soundly next to me rolled over and covered herself with a blanket that was designed for a child. It’s corners covered her body, which was tucked in a fetal position, and propped up ever so slightly.

  My wife sleeps almost sitting up at times because it helps her breathing. There have been many nights when she’s had trouble due to her CF. Her lung function is always in question, and people are always surprised when I tell them that instead of a traditional bed, we both sleep on the couch. She crumples up, knees to chest, and turns on her left side – the side she calls her good side, and falls asleep. I usually dangle my feet over the arm of the sofa in an attempt to try and stretch out. My circulation causes my feet and arms to go numb if placed in one position for too long, and so I have to at least be free to toss and turn.

  It’s been like this for almost six months.

  So as she slept, I cooked an omelet, prepared a cup of French Press (an act I will repeat in a few minutes) and listened to Timothy Ferris and his take on what he believes to be an ideal work week. Almost immediately i started thinking about lifestyle design.

In his book The Four Hour Work Week, Tim states principles that invoke this concept of lifestyle design when he talks about things like outsourcing. The idea being that if you can get out of your own way when it comes to doing the little tasks, then you are free to focus on the things that actually matter. The 80/20 rule – or The Pareto Principle.

Still with me?

So, with my freelance business blossoming, I’m starting to wonder how I can apply these principles to my own life, and make things like job hunting, following leads, and web research an easier process. If I can automate the process to spend significantly less money than I earn, then it will probably allow me to keep a self sustaining stream of clients coming in on a regular basis.

I’ve already made the decision that I want to write. A decision that I feel as though after 30 years was a long time in the making, but often overshadowed by other things. I’ve also made the decision that at some point, I will not longer be employed by my current day job, simply because the place is a horrible place to work. The pay is okay, but the constant pressures of trying to hit numbers day after day, week after week, and month after month is a game that can’t be won, realistically. Numbers are numbers. If the FOUREX tanks, numbers go with it, if the economy crashes numbers go with it. No matter what you do, there is no way to improve something that far out of your control. I wish the retail industry that I worked in understood this.

I guess they figure that the constant pressure will  generate focus and alignment with their motives. I, for one, am not easily swayed, and will not buy into this stupid game of pushing past what feels right in order to make sales.

Which brings me back to lifestyle design. I’ve decided that the only thing I want to sell from here on out is myself. Let the rest of the world worry about retail numbers. I’m going to try to MAKE a different path, and see if my rebellious nature actually allows me to generate the kind of income that will keep me afloat. I don’t need much, just the ability to eat.

Time to get busy. 

The truth of the matter is, that I really don’t mind being a little different from everyone else, and any chance I get to point out those differences works in my favor. It allows me to have my rebellious personality without having to become an ideal conformist. Of course, like everything else, nonconformity has it’s slew of conformists and is therefore turning me into a huge hypocrite, but realistically, I don’t much care.

I’d rather just think for myself on most accounts, and I find that when the general opinion is presented I am usually the first one to stand up and look for the hidden truth in what has been shown. Call it a natural (healthy) dose of paranoia, but to just believe and buy into everything that you hear, see, or read is rather silly, in my opinion. Which brings me to my next idea. The whole “Live Your Truth” movement that I see popping up everywhere.

Every guru needs a catchphrase, because it allows easy interpretation of commonality as well as a handle on how to deal with specific problems. When someone says things like “Live your truth” it becomes not only a mantra, but also allows strength when faced with adversity. Likewise, it can mean a number of things pertaining to honesty,self actualization, negative self-talk and any course of happy, holistic, new age-y, thought processes.

Though I’ve not bought into this whole “Live Your Truth” idea as a weapon against the dogmatic slavery that crushes creative and independent thought, I have seen it take flight in a number of good ways. Ideally, people want to be allowed to be themselves without being judged or chastised.  Allowing people to be totally honest with themselves about their abilities, their wants, needs and desires means that they can garner a clearer picture of how they want to pursue their own life goals.

As well, letting a person be honest; brutally, scathingly, honest with themselves and those around them means that they can truly be free to express themselves as they see fit. In our societal viewpoint, we are always taught to try to sugar-coat the truth, or to dance around the facts in an effort to avoid offending. I’ve always said that it’s rather idiotic to try to avoid doing something that may shake things up because that’s exactly what our fragile ideas need.

We need to be reminded that we are alive; living, breathing, fighting creatures that can make this world a better place simply by adding our own opinions and thought processes to them. We shouldn’t be outcast due to ideas that go against a defined society. We should embrace our individuality and our natural need to connect without fear of judgment.

Simply put, we need to stop lying to ourselves about who we are, and stop caring about who we hurt, and learn to pursue the things we love without apology to those who don’t deserve it.

We need to be brave, and strong, and clear, and purposeful. We need to take all of those things that make us human and let them meld together until we are better than we were before. Until the walls shake and the floors crack. Until we can smell the salt from our skin and the fire in our bellies.

We need to be alive.